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Why We Need to Forgive

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As important as any emotional theme in our life is the concept of forgiveness. It is a fallacy that we think we know why people do the things they do. Based on our own cultural and historical lens, we make assumptions. And we can hold on to these narratives for a very long time. After the reaction, the defence, the anger, the tears, we can continue to perpetuate the story we created in our heads, justifying our actions. But that story is missing maybe a few important truths. And only by seeing our own weaknesses and forgiving others for theirs, will we become emotionally stronger. Confidence and self actualization are not borne from resentments. As Einstein said “We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility.” And so it goes. There is always something we don’t know. Having the curiosity to break out of our own illusions and find out what the other person’s truth is, IS part of our doing our best.

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Pulling the Trigger

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It happens. Our emotions explode and the anger seeps out. Damage is done. Words and actions can not be taken back after we pull out our weapons in a moment of lost conscientiousness. In hindsight we can analyse what the precipitating factors were that allowed us to unleash our poison, usually well contained, onto the soul of another. We know our sensitivities and values and hold them dear to us like a newborn baby. We may try our best to be rational and controlled when these things are threatened, but a myriad of events and conditions can unhinge us. Being stressed, feeling tired or vulnerable, feeling attacked, grieving other losses, or maybe just not being at optimal health, can all be contributing factors to not adhering to our usual social standards. Being kind to ourselves after the fact and taking responsibility for our actions is imperative in overcoming and deleting our blind spots. Every mistake is an opportunity to break old negative patterns that do not serve us. And in preventing a recurrence we must be diligent about how we communicate our needs for love and respect from others.