The process of healing is slow. Too slow. We want to feel normal, whatever that means and we just don’t. Post traumatic stress is real. It lives in both the body and the mind. A victim of war will suffer similar symptoms to a woman who has been raped. A defence system is inherently created to protect us from further harm. When any type of alarm is sensed by the body or the mind, the defence system is re-activated blocking our ability to feel relaxed, trusting, and at peace with the world. Over time and with the right kind of help and care, the nervous system will slowly start to relax again and respond as it should, to only to things that are truly dangerous, but in the meantime, any little thing can be a trigger. Managing our defences means re-learning how to manage our emotions. The ravages of devastation impede normal responses. How can we let things in without needing to first throw everything out. How can we trust ourselves, when we know we are off, wounded, betrayed on a very deep level? Regaining control of our world, may only be an illusion, but the rational mind tells us it must be so. And so releasing tension entails a sense of regaining control over our lives. Whether it means going back to school to get a better job, leaving a dysfunctional relationship, speaking our truth, helping others, taking up bodybuilding or martial arts, there are many ways we can regain a sense of control over our destiny and our right to be healthy and strong in the world. People will inevitably disappoint us, but we can take a stand by not inflicting harm on ourselves. If we can overcome our tendencies to be self-destructive, we can then move towards the things that we love, the things that nurture us. So begin there and master it. Use your discipline to overcome the fears that stop you from dreaming. Take control of your life, even though some people won’t like it. Let them revolt. Life is short.
A colleague of mine from many years ago, was recently killed in Hawaii. It was a hit and run. I really hope the person who struck him, despite their fear, is able to come forward and do the right thing, even though I am sure it was an accident. Irregardless, their life will never be the same. He or she is suffering now, as are his family, friends, colleagues, the street youth he dedicated years to serving at Dusk to Dawn, his students, acquaintances, and neighbours. My heart goes out to everyone who is suffering this incredible loss. He was a beautiful person, a Pure Heart. The spirit of Benito Segura is reminding me, as I struggle with my sadness, of principles that are incredibly important, to be real, to be honest, to be brave. His name translated actually means a Sure Blessing. His life and knowing him was a blessing for all of us. May we meet again one day Benito, on a different energetic plane, where there is no pain, only Love.