Happy International Women’s Day! It is another beautiful Sunday. And although we may not feel so grateful that we have the right to vote or to work or have our own bank account, it is important to remember that many women in the world are still subjugated to severe forms of oppression. Some so ugly I can’t even think about them. But even in the modern world I see many “free” women oppressing themselves in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is for comfort or convenience, someone else has the money or status, other times it is for fear of success, constantly putting other people’s needs before their own, and then of course life itself creates many distractions and obstacles as well. How we live out our patterns of subordination is usually the direct result of those messages we received in our family of origin. I know what mine were and I am still working to overcome them. Beyond that, it is still more difficult for a woman to be recognized for her insights and brilliance. But we can recognize each other, and we can work together in solidarity to say “THIS is what truly matters to us.” What is the next step? Is our role to challenge old systems and re-create new ones, help other women in the global context, promote a more healing and nurturing society? In focusing on a vision that goes beyond all those negative patterns and social pressures, we inevitably will make a difference. And for all the women who have been violated and had their rights taken away, even if it was just for a moment, I am very very sorry that happened to you. And I hope today, you don’t feel alone.
Carlos Castaneda described something called non-ordinary reality as a concept that embraced the possibilities of knowing within the unknown. There is no doubt that we can achieve this, with conscious effort and by challenging the realities we take for granted. The assumptions we make when we fill in the gaps often lead us to trouble or worse, dissent. And because we don’t like to be wrong, it is even more difficult to see a bigger picture when we are triggered. If we feel like we need to defend ourselves, it is impossible to see things from the perspective of the other person. The only way to reach the knowing of the unknown then is to respond before the response. Cancel the assumption. Ask a question. Know there are many perspectives and we can participate in every one of them, each creating a different outcome. Not an easy thing to do when we have been conditioned since birth to represent the views and values and lies of others. One can ask oneself “how do I know this is true?” or just ask an open question instead of getting mad. But as long as we are intellectualizing any subject, we will have blind spots. And as long as we perpetuate our negative patterns, we will be triggered emotionally. If we can’t see beyond and outside the pattern, we are doomed. Remember, there is always something to learn. And using our innocent childlike mind, we can access the non-ordinary reality, which in turn will stimulate our intellect and strengthen our relationships with others. Let the healing begin.
You know where your wounds are. You can feel them lodged inside you, a hole, a rock, a piece of metal, an ache, a heaviness, a never ending sigh. And you probably know the things what makes these sensations worse: toxic relationships, self-defeating behavior, high levels of stress. And you recognize your self-soothing behaviors: keeping busy, avoiding intimacy, creating chaos, running away, drinking, doing drugs, over-eating, overuse of electronic devices. Like a late night party, these things on one level can relax us by giving us space to be in our own world, but they don’t provide a venue for emotional growth and healing. But it is true that relationships hurt and are disappointing and maybe you don’t feel you can afford very much. So lets just focus on the things going on inside you. Find a quiet place. Put your hand on your wound. Stay there until you can feel some sense of warmth and connection with it. Now you are going to channel all of your loving feelings into that place. Manifest feeling, and create that loving energy. Take what was stolen and give it back to yourself. If visualization is helpful, go further into your imagination and include a washing away of debris, a softening of defense, the creation of a new space filled with hope. Add another layer of goodness on top of the layer of pain. Remember yourself as you truly are.
Much has been written about the third eye or the ajna brow chakra. Higher consciousness, enlightenment, out of body experiences, psychic abilities and other phenomena are associated with this chakra energy centre. I want to share something very practical with you about accessing this energy source for healing. To begin this practice it is best if you are alone, somewhere quiet, walking in nature surrounded by natural light. You put attention on your eyes. As you concentrate on your eyeballs you will notice an energy shift. This is very powerful. It gives you direction and complete mental clarity. After you have mastered that, you can then focus on your eyelids. Focus on both of them at the same time. Remarkably it feels as though joy is hidden there. It was tucked away and you never knew it. Now you are naturally moving into the third eye. Concentration has balanced your brain hemispheres and stimulated the pineal gland. Mental clarity is activated. Feelings of joy and euphoria are activated and the result is sense of universal connection which supercedes all else.
You turn to stone. You are frozen, hardened, completely shut down. And now you have to operate in the world as if you are “normal”. Sometimes you feel like screaming, to relieve the pressure. But you don’t. And you can’t talk to anyone about it because you know you have reached a place where it will just make everyone uncomfortable. It’s not a talk about kind of thing. You can search for information en secreto on the internet and maybe find some other lost souls like yourself. That helps. And you wonder if you will ever feel open and trusting and loving again. But for now, you have your protective armor on. And it feels like a stone wall inside you. You’ve gone beyond the point of feeling pain and crying and feeling disappointed. You are done and the world is no longer a safe place to be. It’s hard, and you’re hard. Some people live like this their whole lives. You have seen them in passing. The ones that never smile or make eye contact or have any warmth about them but you don’t want to be like that. It’s not your way. You used to be whole. Now you can’t even be intimate. And if you try, you have to go somewhere else energetically, splintering off. And all you can truly feel is relief once it is finally over. Friends and family are worried about you but don’t know what to do to help. This is going to take some time. Healing is going to take some time. And you are going to have to be very patient and loving and kind with yourself. Be gentle. Rest. Know you can get back to yourself and be whole again.
It’s not easy to talk about feelings. I was raised in a military family where feelings weren’t important. Deep down I knew this wasn’t true, but still I was programed into negating them. I remember telling my mother many years ago that I couldn’t work for the government as a social worker. There were too many injustices and it made me unhappy. She said “sometimes you just need to put your feelings aside”. I remember replying that “actually happiness was very important to me.”
Now I am practicing the emotion code after years of doing healing work with my hands. What I like about this approach is that it isn’t focused on talking or remembering pain. It is energy work that releases emotional blockages. Repressed memories can stay repressed but the negative energy is gone. It is a completely different approach to healing and I believe that some day we will all be healing each other.
I realize now, that every feeling and every thought we have, affects those around us and even those far away. If we work as conscious beings, living to help others, we can create a world that is safe and loving. There are no limits to healing with love.