Turning to Stone

You turn to stone. You are frozen, hardened, completely shut down. And now you have to operate in the world as if you are “normal”. Sometimes you feel like screaming, to relieve the pressure. But you don’t. And you can’t talk to anyone about it because you know you have reached a place where it will just make everyone uncomfortable. It’s not a talk about kind of thing. You can search for information en secreto on the internet and maybe find some other lost souls like yourself. That helps. And you wonder if you will ever feel open and trusting and loving again. But for now, you have your protective armor on. And it feels like a stone wall inside you. You’ve gone beyond the point of feeling pain and crying and feeling disappointed. You are done and the world is no longer a safe place to be. It’s hard, and you’re hard. Some people live like this their whole lives. You have seen them in passing. The ones that never smile or make eye contact or have any warmth about them but you don’t want to be like that. It’s not your way. You used to be whole. Now you can’t even be intimate. And if you try, you have to go somewhere else energetically, splintering off. And all you can truly feel is relief once it is finally over. Friends and family are worried about you but don’t know what to do to help. This is going to take some time. Healing is going to take some time. And you are going to have to be very patient and loving and kind with yourself. Be gentle. Rest. Know you can get back to yourself and be whole again.

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