I was raised to think emotions were the least important thing. I had to work very hard at getting back to the way I was supposed to be, loving and open. But after a serious trauma I shut down again. When a colleague and friend gave me a few sessions of something like the emotion code in exchange for some healing massage I was truly amazed by them. I could literally feel the hardness inside my body as she released piece after piece, until I felt broken and raw. But the next morning, I felt revived and open and happy. Even before this happened I had already signed up to study the emotion code. I was looking for a way to use my gift of healing via long distance because I don’t live a regular life or a regular home. I travel and live outside of Canada for half the year. I didn’t know if the emotion code worked and I was skeptical but hopeful it could be something I could do energetically. And when I started using it via video i was surprised about how powerful the results were. This is something that can not be explained. And I was a skeptic myself. But believing is much better than not believing.
It’s easy to point the finger. To see the wrong. Yes we have all been hurt, devastated, disappointed. But who are WE hurting? How conscious are we about the damages incurred every day from our actions, our words, our lifestyles, our ambition? We could start with the planet, which is dying. We could acknowledge that we do very little about it and we will die because of it. And so there will be justice in the end. Probably though, the rich will die last. The first to go will be the poorest countries with many hardships already. Countries where people work for almost nothing to provide us with many of our daily comforts. People notice and reward us in various ways for the nice things we have, as though there was nothing wrong with it. Let’s just celebrate other people’s suffering by showing off. I am sorry, but capitalism is mean, and with the global economy, maybe meaner that ever. The people who can’t or don’t want to compete are used and crushed into oblivion. I see it every day.
We aren’t where we live. We aren’t how much money we make or what we studied at school. We are not who we married or who our friends are. It’s true, there is pressure to think and feel this way. Social pressures create compliance. How often have you beat yourself up psychologically because you feel inadequate? Maybe the challenge lies in building a stronger sense of self with truth and kindness at the core. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses and mistakes and follies and love yourself as you are. The current trend of self improvement really only reinforces the idea that there is something inherently wrong with us. And that we need to change to be worthy. Worthy of what? Where is the freedom in this kind of thinking. How are we minimizing the lives of ourselves and others by buying in to just another mode of shaming each other. Put your judgments aside. Speak your truth. Share your feelings. Be yourself.
I remember when I was 20 and volunteering with a non-profit organization while I was a student. A group of us went to visit Seniors who had no visitors at a nursing home. One of the men I visited who was probably 90 years old asked me for a hand job. Meanwhile at the University there was an older man posing as an employee wandering the Hub at the Arts section of the University who had a few women he liked to follow, and I was one of them. I only realized there was something wrong when he got on the same bus as me one day after class. I avoided him after that. In between my degrees I waitressed at a Bistro where the manager constantly talked about my ass. When I nicely asked him to stop, he just told me how much I loved the attention. Later, when I did my second degree I went one day in tears to consult with one of my favorite professors, he saw how distraught I was and pulled my chair up to his so his legs were on either side of mine. He was someone I trusted and respected. But my first experiences of being harassed by men began when I was thirteen and I had to deal with the husbands and boyfriends of the women I was babysitting for. What life experience does a 13 year old girl have for dealing with those kinds of situations? So when women say, ” the ME TOO movement just makes things worse for women because it makes us into victims….” I don’t agree. Personally I feel hopeful and relieved for all the young women today that have a forum for discussion and support in a way I did not. My sense of safety and personal security has been put in jeopardy my whole life. Being a woman is not easy. I am grateful now because things seem to be getting better, but maybe just because I am older and tougher than I used to be 🙂