You love your family. You love your partner. You love your children. It’s the most natural thing in the world for a woman to share her love with others. But women also have the need to be nurtured and taken care of by others. And what can easily happen is that we aren’t. Many of these relationships entail a one sided emotional dependency. Where and how can we charge our emotional batteries y so we can still give so much to others. It’s like we aren’t supposed to need anything but we do. Women can nurture each other if they have the time and the freedom to do so. Many women in choosing to work or needing to work have the benefit of social connections outside the home and ideally more intellectual stimulation, but then have to burn the candle at both ends to maintain a household. Men are naturally valued and given more status, and because of this women often unconsciously put their female friendships last. But who really helps you? Who really listens to you? Women’s greatest challenge is first being able to take care of ourselves. Time and space, learning and creating, nurturing the people who nurture us : all these are essential to our ability to give so much to people who need us.
The new porn industry is accessible like never before and amateur based. There is an excellent documentary on this by Rashida Jones on Netflix titled Hot Girls Wanted. It was informative, and I was disturbed by what I saw for weeks afterwards. Hey, there is nothing wrong with consenting adults exploring kink or bondage or whatever interests them, but what this documentary deals with is the influence of porn on mens’ preference for sex or their preference in the first place which influences how porn is created, both of which are completely degrading to women. And for the women who have signed up to make money in the porn industry, whether they are operating their own biz from home and cashing in on a lucrative market, or being torn and semi-strangled on camera, they are also responsible for feeding this beast that continues to keep women subjugated and disrespected.
Mostly we live in our minds and yet we are still classified as animals. Since we don’t have to worry very often about being eaten by something bigger than ourselves, we like to think of the world as a safe place. However, there are humans we have every reason to be concerned about. I wish they had some identifying feature so we could see them in an instant and just know we had to get away. Our instinct or intuition can serve us well in certain situations, if we trust ourselves. There are people though that we are forced to interact with because of obligations or social circumstance. Even if we have an inkling of distrust, we have to navigate through these obstacles with confidence and grace. For a child or young person, this is not fair as they don’t have the life experience to have these skills. For an adult in the wrong place and time, there may be no options for safety either. Women naturally have to think about their personal safety and well-being. Even if a woman feels more secure with a man at her side, he isn’t always available. And so the parking space, the route home, the dark hallway, the empty house, the staying too late at a party…she has to have her safety sense ON. Predators tend to look for vulnerable prey but this isn’t always the case. There are people with anti-social personality disorder who thrive on a challenge. The mental manipulation is highly honed and they often are very attractive and charming. Since they lack empathy, the social codes that rule our behaviour are not significant. Child abuse, rape, and other forms of psychological torture of their victims, does not hold the same meaning. Beware. There are more people like this than we think, masquerading as normal people with a conscience. For those of you who have experienced this, you know exactly what I mean when I talk about predators. These are dangerous people that do harm and often are not held accountable because EVIL is not acknowledged in real life. No one wants to talk about that. We just go to the movies. And in the movies, good prevails.