When Innocence is Lost

Some women remember their first experience when the world was presented as no longer a loving and safe place. Some of us remember something that shocked and hurt us. For some women though, as children or as teens, they will remember incident after incident that left them damaged, hurt, confused and alone.

My first experience was when I was so young that I can not remember it. Maybe there were many.  I don’t know.  Our minds and bodies protect us this way. We can NOT remember anything but we know things happened. On a deep level we know.

The emotion code is helpful with this because it allows us to release those trapped unconscious memories without having to remember anything.

I had a session.  I felt split open and the tears and the trauma just flowed out of me.  I didn’t need to know what happened. That was the beauty of it all. And that is why I think this form of healing is perfect for dealing with trauma. Some traumas are best left forgotten.

Some women feel they have armour.  Some women have attitude… a protective shell that is more subtle.. Some women are teetering on a line between reality and the abyss of insanity. It’s hard to move forward.  How do we trust when our innocence has been stolen, or destroyed?

I remember the therapists I saw. I don’t think they helped me so much. They had too many of their own issues or secrets and they couldn’t help but project them on me. How do we get to the heart of the matter and release the pain so we can move on and feel open and loving again?  It is about us and not about anyone else.

The dirty smear needs to be cleaned off. The toxic energy needs to be lifted. The anger and confusion need to subside. We must feel whole and strong again.

Maybe the innocence will never be  what it was before those awful things happened, but our hearts can be pure again. We can love ourselves and know it wasn’t our fault. We can love the people around us more easily because we feel more gentle inside. We can go back to what we were and what we were meant to be.

Bless you.

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